That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
