My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
