can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
