so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
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