Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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