To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize