Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
