You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Vodka?
Forever.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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