whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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