You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm too high and old for this...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
