What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
