found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
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