But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
