he wants to bone in the snuggie
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I touched a dick in church today
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