I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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