haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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