your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
