We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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