Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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