Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
