i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
