so that wasnt chicken after all
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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