So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I need water and some morals
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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