I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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