wat bout pragnant strippers??
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
That's how pantless uber rides happen
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
