Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize