he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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