Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
