I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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