let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I think people are normalizing furries
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
