Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
