Already got asked if we're dating
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
love makes seman taste better
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
