so explain again why im purple
no
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
