Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
