OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you would pick up someone in the library
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
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He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
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I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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