yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
