The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
