I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
