These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
