That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
