So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
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