Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize