4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
