i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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