is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
