Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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