There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i believe in u and ur pee
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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