the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
