I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
