Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
