Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
