We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
