I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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