i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
