Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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