just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
