she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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