There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
