you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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